I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
