Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
