Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
