worst night to have a conscience
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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