Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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