i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
