Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize