Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
