I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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