Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
