new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
