Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
