So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
