just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
