brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
