so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
