Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
