the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
