theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
