he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
