just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
