it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Never joke about your clitoris.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
