I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
