i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
