do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
