For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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