I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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