yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
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