life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
