Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
