Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
