theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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