did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
