So drunk its hurt
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
two words...techno handjob
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
