Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
