pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
