the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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