home. puking in laundry basket.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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