I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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