My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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