Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
