Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
