No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
