How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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