whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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