We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
