Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
