Will you blow on my dice?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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