I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
