I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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