now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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