just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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