I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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