How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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