I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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