Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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