I heard we made out
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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