we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
